The Powerful Information presented in this NLP Crash Course is the very same knowledge which you would receive if you were to go to a seminar and pay thousands of dollars to learn! I am giving this to you as a special added bonus so you can easily improve every aspect of your life!
NLP was created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Its a model. Grinder used his language knowledge and combined it with Bandlers computer programming mentality to model what effective therapists did to create change.
These two modern day geniuses modeled people like Milton Erickson (hypnotist), Fritz Perls,and Virginia Satir (family therapist), took the most effective patterns from each and created a practical, replicatable system to get consistent results. They also borrowed heavily from Gregory Bateson and Alfred Korzybski of the map is not the territory fame and author of Science and Sanity. Korzybski held Neuro Linguistic trainings almost 40 years before Bandler and Grinder came on the scene.
Initially NLP was used mostly by therapists (since thats where the model originally formed from) and now its applications have extended into almost every area of life (sales, business, negotiation, modeling, etc).
One of the great things about NLP is that it contains models that teach a person to effectively model other things.
There are all sorts of outgrowths from NLP and it has become somewhat of an industry. 90% of what Tony Robbins does is NLP based. He decided to rename it Neuro Associative Conditioning (NAC).
Heres the core of NLP (there are all kinds of spin offs from the base model)
First of all NLP is based entirely on certain presuppositions Presuppositions could be considered base beliefs. Kind of like an operating system on a computer. Every program you run goes through that operating system (i.e.-Windows). So, the more flexible the operating system the more options you have when running a program.
Presuppositions are the internal, mental environmental structure we build that directs our 7+/-2 bits of conscious attention span. These presuppositions form the environment from which all NLP techniques take form.
Bandler defines NLP as an attitude, backed by a methodology, which leaves a trail of techniques. Most people who are familiar with NLP just know of the techniques.
Bandler has also said that he created NLP so he could do whatever he wanted. From what Ive experienced, ALL of Bandlers trainings are created in such a way as to INSTALL THE NLP ATTITUDE which basically is all about FLEXIBILITY. He jars your consciousness through stories and unconscious communication to create a more flexible mental system. ATTITUDE (and your state of mind) is everything in NLP. Controlling your state and attitude comprise the majority of what NLP is all about.
The point is that the basis of NLP is the presuppositions and the attitude you have when you use these presuppositions. Here are some of them (list taken from The Users Manual For The Brain by Bobby G. Bodenhamer and L. Michael Hall. I recommend this book highly if you are just starting out in NLP. The explanations of each of the presuppositions are mine.):
1. The map is not the territory or The menu is not the meal- What we see, hear, and feel is not reality, but our brains interpretation of it. Right now there are thousands of radio waves flowing through the air around you. When you turn on your radio, you hear only one wavelength- that one station. Your radio doesnt play all the stations simultaneously it would be too confusing. Also, your radio isnt set up to receive microwaves or any of the millions of other wavelengths available. Humans are very similar. We have five basic instruments to pick up wavelengths. These instruments (the five senses- human antennae) take in information which is then interpreted by our nervous system (similar to radio circuitry), which then assembles the information in a way we can comprehend it. Everything you think you see hear or feel is created by your brain in response to real external stimuli. Reality out there does exist. We just never get to experience it first hand. So our brain creates a virtual reality for us- a map. Just like a map of your town. The map is not the town. But, if you want to get to the corner store and the map tells you how to get there- its useful.
2. People respond according to their maps- The human mind has a very special capability. It can give meaning to things. As we grow up in the world we experience things and give meaning to them. Michael Jordan gave a different meaning to getting kicked off his high school basketball team than other people in a similar situation did. So, not only does our mind body system make its own interpretation of whats really out there, but then we interpret it again by creating our own individual meanings for things. From these interpreted meanings we create our own maps. We move through the world and respond using these maps we create based on the meanings we have given to various experiences. Michael Jordans map didnt label getting kicked off the basketball team as failure he mapped a different meaning to it. Look where he is today.
3. Meaning operates context dependently- If I called a girl a whore in a playful way while we are having kinky sex, her response will be much different than if I called a girl Im just talking to a whore. No word or behavior is an island. Enough said.
4. Mind/Body inevitably affect each other- If I cut you with a knife your mind knows about it. If I say certain things to you, I can make you feel bad. Well where exactly do you FEEL bad? In your body of course. MINDBODY acts a whole. Korzybski talks in depth about how language maps our reality and that separating things that really shouldnt be separated by using two different words has a major impact on how we respond and function in the world. Its really MINDBODY. Just like SPACETIME.
5. Individual skills function by developing and sequencing rep systems- We have five senses or antennae by which our brain receives human radio waves. Once our brain converts those waves into something it can work with, we start sorting the information in our mind to give it structure. Everything we do has a sequence to it. Before you decide to buy something you may picture yourself using the widget, then you may say to yourself this widget would be really cool when I go widgeting, then you may feel a good feeling about the widget and you buy it. This would be called a buying strategy and it consists of the 3 major representational systems- SEEING, HEARING AND FEELING or VISUAL (V), AUDITORY (A), AND KINESTHETIC (K). Most of the time we use these 3 antennae more often than the two others. The way we sequence these in our mind enables us to exhibit certain skills. Certain sequences work better than others. If your phone number is (876) 716-5512 and I dial (678) 551-2617, Im not going to get you on the phone. Its the same numbers, but the sequencing gives dramatically different results. Richard Bandler uses a very funny example of this (paraphrased): Theres all these books out there and they all have the same 26 letters. $15 or $20 and all I get are the same 26 letters over and over. Im getting ripped off! Sequencing the letters the right way creates the right words and sequencing the right words creates a masterpiece. We do the same at a very unconscious level with the VAK. The way we string together the representations of each sense in our mind will create very specific results. The spelling strategy of NLP was created from this presupposition.
6. Respect each persons model of the world- Now that you know that we operate in a virtual reality of our own creation, you can respect that every other person on the planet is doing the same. The difference is you now know you are working through a map. Most people think everything they think and feel is REAL and it is for them. Respect that. Rapport is created when you can step into that persons model of the world (even if you dont want to stay there). Leading is when you gently expand their map of the world. NLP is all about more choices. So respect someone elses model of the world and if you want to change it always make sure you are installing a map that allows greater flexibility. Much of NLP is based on systems theory, which basically says that the system with the most flexibility and options wins.
7. Person and Behavior describe different phenomena- When you were 3 years old maybe you sucked your thumb. Does that make you a thumb sucker today? You are more than the behaviors you produce and have the ability to change them at any time. What you DO and what you ARE are two different things.
8. Every behavior has utility and usefulness- in some context. All behavior functions from positive intentions. This presupposition separates behaviors from the person. A person may start shaking with fear and sweating when they need to make a presentation. That fear may be appropriate just not in that situation. Maybe if a person held him up at gunpoint it would be natural to have fear. Fear is good in a certain context.
9. We cannot NOT communicate. Even if we dont say a word, our internal thought processes effect our body in such a way that our message gets out. (See presupposition #4)
10. The way we communicate affects perception and reception- How many ways can you say Youre the best? Try it. Use different tonalities, voice tempos, tones, etc. Change the way you stand, the focus of your eyes, and your posture. Experiment with a few friends and try to come up with 100 ways to say it over the next week. The words are the same, but the way you communicate them can make a radical difference.
11. The meaning of your communication lies in the response you get- This is one of the driving presuppositions in NLP. It forces you to take full responsibility for RESULTS in your communication. If you get a response you dont like- then you need to change something in your communication. Again, everyone is functioning through HIS OR HER model of the world. If you communicate to everyone using your model only, you will not get the response you want. NLP is all about results- if one thing doesnt work, TRY SOMETHING ELSE. You arent just communicating to hear yourself, are you? You communicate because you are looking for a response from another person. Keep shifting and changing the way you communicate until you get the response you want. This is the basis of all sales and dealing with sales objections.
12. The one who sets the frame for the communication controls the communicating- We can consciously take in 7+/-2 bits of information at a time. Frames are the magnifying glasses that magnify the specific 7 +/- bits of information our other than conscious mind will choose to have our conscious mind concentrate on. When you use a camera, you dont take a picture of everything around you. The lens frames the specific scene you want to focus on. Whoever sets this frame in any communication will control that particular communication.
The sun has a beautiful red color to it as its setting tonight. (frame) Lets take a walk on the beach
Its going to be too dark when we get there (new frame- Dark is not good)
Seductive voice Well that will be nice. That way no one can see what Im going to do to you once we get there (reframe- Dark is good)
13. There is no failure, only feedback- There can only be failure if you put a time limit on something. Until you die, you can continually alter your behavior until you get the results you want
14. The person with the most flexibility exercises the most influence in the system- The Law of Requisite Variety- In any system, the one with the most flexibility will exercise more choices and therefore more influence in the system. Make sure your model is big enough to allow a wide variety of behaviors. Again, simply, keep trying new things until you get the results you want. The wrestler with the most holds wins!
15. Resistance indicates lack of rapport- With the proper amount of rapport you can convince someone to do almost anything. You can literally change the way they map their entire world. If you are getting resistance on any level (verbal or non verbal- i.e. keep your eyes open) you need to step back into their map of the world for a minute and regain rapport. Remember presupposition #11!
16. People have all the internal resources they need to succeed. We all pretty much have the same set of antennae and the same nervous system to interpret signals. We have everything we need to deal effectively in the world. Sometimes we just need other people to bring it out of us.
17. Humans have the ability to experience one trial learning- This presupposition takes the Pavlovian thing to new heights. Humans can associate anything to anything and do it instantly if the state of mind at the time is intense enough. Thats how phobias are formed. I was watching on a talk show about a boy who had an intense fear of clowns. The boy was about 17 years old and he looked and talked like a pretty tough kid. When the host mentioned bringing a clown in, the 17 year old rolled up on the floor in a fetus position and started crying hysterically. A psychologist came on and asked the boy how this happened. The boy said that when he was 4 years old he was watching a movie about a killer clown on Halloween. His aunt just happened to have dressed up as a clown that looked very similar and during one of the intense parts of the movie the aunt, in her clown costume came up behind the boy. When he turned around, there was the clown in the movie- in real life. Now, intellectually, now that hes 17 he realizes that his aunt wasnt the clown in the movie. But, humans are one-time learners and his nervous system learned in that one intense moment to associate massive fear to clowns.
18. People make the best choices open to them when they act- If I have a map of Florida (my home state) published in 1917 and I use it to get around, its probably not going to be very helpful. If my computer is an Apple II plus from 1982, Im not going to be able to do as much as I can if I had a Pentium III 500 MHz. In either case though, that may be the best I have at the time. Everyone makes the best choices they can from their current map or model of the world.
19. All communication should increase choice- Always increase the amount of choices someone has with your communication. See presupposition #14.
These 19 presuppositions are the framework from which NLP blooms. If you dont understand the 19 presuppositions, you really dont understand NLP. They are the basis for the Attitude, which generates the methodology, which in turn leaves the trail of techniques. With just these presuppositions and the right attitude you can do better than the thousands of people out there that think they know what NLP is.
Now, from modeling therapists, Richard Bandler and John Grinder came up with, in my opinion, two main models and four, what I call facilitating techniques.
The two main models are:
1. The Meta Model and
2. The Milton Model.
The Four facilitating techniques are:
3. Rapport Building and
4. Pacing and Leading
Dont let all the technical names for this stuff throw you. Its really very simple.
THE META MODEL (DETAILS)
The reason we have maps is because they are useful. I could carry around a map or model of Florida that had plastic models of the buildings and street lamps and little plastic people for the population. I might need a pickup to get around, but I could do it. Its unnecessary though. If I just need to get from point a to point b, then a paper map will do just fine.
Thats how human maps of the world work. We usually chop out all the unnecessary detail so we dont have too much information to keep track of. Sometimes though, we make our maps too limited and our choices become too limited.
It would be like that map of Florida only having one route for me to get to from point a to point b and the day I want to go to point b the street the map has me go on is closed for construction. It would be good to have an alternate way, so I would need a map that had more streets. (Note: these examples may seem simple and childish, but I have found they drive the information home so people use it).
So, back to the streets. The Meta Model puts more streets on your mental map. The Meta Model adds more details. The Meta Model gives us more choices through details. When you want to add more details to someones mental map use the Meta Model.
THE MILTON MODEL (VAGUENESS)
The Milton Model is nearly the inverse of the Meta Model.
99% of the verbal patterns you hear from gurus are based entirely on the Milton Model. Its aim is the same- to increase choice and expand mental maps to increase flexibility.
The Milton Model was modeled after Milton Erickson, a brilliant conversational hypnotist. Hypnosis or trance involves a person having an inward focus.
If I tell you to think of a time where you met a certain person whom you really enjoyed being around and as you think of this person and as you read these words you allow a clear picture to form of that person, maybe hear their voice, smell their scent, you may begin to notice all those certain feelings you have, good feelings and YOURE UNCONSCIOUS knows how to make you have those good feelings anywhere. NOW, as you read this, YOURE UNCONSCIOUS can transfer those good feelings to LEARNING, really LEARNING this material. Because, FEELING GOOD, allows you to learn soooo much quicker. And I dont know if you can begin to apply all you are learning from reading this right away or if youll just start using it when youre finished reading. I do know that tonight youll sleep and dream and as you sleep and dream YOURE UNCONCIOUS NOW can begin to INTEGRATE all youve learned here and manifest new behaviors, new attitudes and new beliefs that will INCREASE YOUR FLEXIBILITY AND JOY. NOW, you can come back now.
Vagueness allows you to internally find references for the words I use. When I say a certain person, youre mind searches its data banks for a certain person. The Milton Model occupies the conscious mind with words while the unconscious mind does all the work. The Milton Model taps the unconsciouss ability to use all your inherent resources and not be restricted to the conscious minds 7 +/- 2 bits of information.
ANCHORINGTony Robbins calls it Neuro Associative Conditioning. You learned it in presupposition #17 (Humans have the ability to experience one trial learning). Pavlov rang his bells and dogs salivated. How do you feel when I say IRS Audit? What about that song that reminds you of that person you loved 10 years ago, when you hear it does it bring back all the feelings involved? We can associate anything with anything. Remember a time right before you purchased something that you really wanted. You know, when you walk into a store, or pick up the phone to dial into a catalog, or log onto that website and you just cant wait to get it. Maybe you heard about it from a friend, read about it somewhere and it piqued your interest and curiosity to the point where NOW you just have to have it. See what you saw right before you bought it, Hear the words you told yourself (maybe I gotta get this), feel all those feelings.
REFRAMINGSee Presupposition #12. Reframing is one of the most extensively used techniques in NLP by Richard Bandler. Most comedy applies reframes. Your mind is heading down a road its been a million times and you expect it to continue that way. Then WHAM! A reframe redirects you.
RAPPORT BUILDINGAs I said earlier, if you have enough rapport you can do almost anything. Most verbal patterns fail to work because A. the person didnt create a context where the verbal pattern is appropriate and B. there wasnt enough rapport. Rapport is gained by making a person feel you are like them. You can do this in a variety of ways. You can match their voice tone, tempo and breathing. You can mirror or match their body posture. You can match their beliefs. You can match their phrasing and their key words. The key to rapport is: you want to gain rapport rapidly- then you want to lead that person into your frame (context). People like whats the same or similar and learn from whats different.
PACING AND LEADINGAs you read this last portion of the CRASH COURSE IN NLP, while you are sitting at your computer or reading this on the printed page you may begin to think to yourself The Doktor has really made NLP simple to understand in his Crash Course. And as you say that, and as you continue reading this and your mind processes the words, you can begin to feel good about all that you learned here.
To close, I do want to say that true learning never takes place if you just read something. True learning involves at least the three major rep systems (SEE HEAR FEEL). So, go ahead and allow all this to sink in and integrate as you sleep and dream tonight and tomorrow when you wake up you may begin to notice certain changes in the way you go about things. Some people even tell me their whole life changes with this material. Even so, its always good to have real life examples of people so you can SEE, HEAR AND FEEL NLP in action.